Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Let the Bubbly Flow

About two months ago, while brushing my teeth, I started coughing uncontrollably. It felt like I was inhaling chemicals or something other than air. Confused (and concerned), I looked down and noticed that the water pouring from the faucet (yes, I was wasting water as I brushed) was pure foam, like an endless stream of seltzer.

Admittedly, I was a bit freaked out. Clearly, whatever turned our water into foam was making me cough, and that couldn't possibly be good.

Naturally, I assumed that a chemical had leaked (or was intentionally introduced) into the city water supply and contaminated it (we are hooked up to the city water at the dock). So, to aid whomever would be assigned to investigate my (imminent) death, I bottled up some of tainted water as evidence. Then, I reported the incident to my husband and my parents so that there would be multiple second-hand accounts of my first-hand experience. I also told them where I hid the "evidence."

Next, I launched my own investigation of the situation. After about an hour of Googling various combinations of "anthrax," "Miami," "drinking water," "contaminated," and "toxic gas leak," I decided to walk off my neuroses. I headed to the over-priced convenience store located next to the marina to buy some over-price bottled water. In fact, I even treated myself to a bottle of super over-priced, imported, Italian drinking water. I figured I should live it up while I still had time.

On my my way back to the boat, I ran into one of our neighbors and told him of my troubles. He said, "That's strange... we're hooked up at the dock, too, and our water seems fine. You might want to check your hose. I change mine every 6 months because they get really gross on the inside after about that long--gives the water a hell of a kick."

While not as logical as the conclusion I had jumped to, I was willing to believe that perhaps a decaying hose was the culprit. I called my husband and updated him on both my water purchases and also my conversation with our neighbor. He said maybe I should check our hose, so I did...

...and it was disgusting. Even before I unscrewed it, I could tell the inside was going to be awful. From the outside, it looked as though the hose had been buried underground for months. Bravely, I loosened the nozzle, stuck my finger inside, and came into contact with the unmistakable texture of SLIME.

Despite how horrifying this discovery was, I was relieved. Slime is better than Anthrax, after all.

Obviously, the slime situation was easy to remedy. We detached our hose from the city water main, switched over to our water tank (which contained clean water), and I drank a glass of bourbon to kill of any bacteria I may have ingested. Then, we got a new hose.

Given how traumatic this experience was, it will not surprise you to know that when I turned on our cold water the other day (while, again, brushing my teeth), I FREAKED when I saw foam pouring from the tap!

Just like before, our water appeared to be carbonated! However, unlike last time, I wasn't coughing and six months had not passed since we last changed our hose.

To be continued...


  1. just leave us hanging... no big deal. we don't need to know if you are all still alive or anything...

  2. Haha - not to worry, we're still alive. A new post is on its way!